Van Delivery! What?

My Birthing Story

Well it all started with taking some gross caster oil drink with orange juice and this lemon essential oil. First dose was at 12:00 noon second dose was at 3:00pm.. didn't start having contractions until about 5:45pm and were about 5 mins apart not too hard I could still talk through them and so we played the waiting game! we had our kids picked up by a really nice lady in our ward who graciously took our kids over night when she had 4 of her own! and she picked them up around 7:30ish... my contractions started to get stronger around 8:00pm so started to time them more! but they were still only about 5 mins apart! called our midwife at about 8:30 and asked her if she could come and check to see how I was doing! and it took her a good hour to get here! by that time I was in the tub and trying to breath through my contractions.. My mid wife arrived at the house about 9:30 -9:45 at which point she checked me and I was a whopping 5cm at that point she started to call the hospitals to see if there was any rooms available! and one with a tub cause I wanted to finish labouring in a tub.. we called Rocky View first and there was no rooms available! then we called Peter Louheed had no rooms at all available! so we decided to make the trek to Foothills! where they had a room for us!

So we get in the Van and Started driving! at this point my contractions were about 2 mins apart I was in the back seat as it was the only place I could get on my hands and knees if I need to slow down labour! well I was doing good and breathing through my contractions! and then about 4 blocks from the hospital I started to get this really bad contraction I screamed out! and flipped on to my knees and clung to Ethan's car seat for support! then my body thought thanks for doing that I am going to now push a baby out! so my Body started pushing and the only thing going through my mind was don't let my water break! so I screamed at Darin and said "I am having a baby" and he didn't believe me.. He said " we are all most there, your water hasn't broken yet you will be fine just breath." that is when I screamed out and said no the heads out and the water just broke! he started to honk the horn at our mid wife that we were following to the hospital! he then started to pull over to the side of the road ( Banff Trail) and the baby basically fell out of my body!( in my pants) at that point I picked the baby up Darin got out of the van I asked for one of the blankets that we had brought for the baby and I started cleaning him off as Darin called the Midwife to tell her we had just had the baby in the back of the Van!... She came back to the van and made sure he was breathing which he was so she said normally we would call the ambulance but we are only like 2 blocks from the hospital so do you want to just drive to the hospital! and of course I wanted to just drive to the hospital! So we got to the hospital and I was just a pretty sight, covered in blood and sitting in a wheel chair but my mid wife did a very good job at getting me into the room so we could cut the cord and so I could deliver the placenta! she then was amazing got me all cleaned off and I fed him! and then we weighed him and was very surprised that he was not a 9lb baby as I would have expected since he was 8 days late! So he weighed in at 7lbs 10oz and 19 3/4 inches long! We are so happy that he was able to come into this world at the Hand of our Lord and Saviour! and that he was born safely despite the fact that it was in the back of the van and totally un assisted. He is a blessing that we will Cherish for the rest of our lives and are very happy and grateful he has entered into our lives and our family! I feel very Blessed to have had this experience even with how crazy it is! but I know that I had My Heavenly Father watching out for me every step of the way!

Mountains (trials)!

 Today I stayed home from church as I am in the last part of my pregnancy and can't get around much, and haven't been feeling to awesome either! been very exhausted and drained! So for part of my time home I relaxed and slept to try and get some of my energy back! the other part of it I had a shower to continue to relax and then I decided to go down to my computer and watch some movies on the LDS website one really caught my eye! called "Men's hearts shall fail them" and in there Elder Russell M Nelson quoted "Perfection comes not in this life but in the next life, don't demand things that are unreasonable but demand of your self improvement." as I look at my life and the things that I have personally been going through. I have sat back and always wondered how it is that Satan is so cunning to sneak in and take away that you have been working so hard towards! you make goals as an individual and as a family and think that you are doing so well to keep it going! and it just takes one time of saying I am too tired to do that tonight! and then you are back to not doing those things you know are the way and the light of the Gospel!  As I heard this quote from Elder Neslon it reiterated to me that I don't have to be perfect in this life as long as I demand of my self to improve my situation as I realise that I have faltered! I know that is way easier said than done but as long as you let the Lord guide you then you will get what you are needing at that point in your life!

     As a family we have always even when I was a kid watched Walt Disney as our movie time and today just happened to be Hanna Montana and I absolutely love this song she sings at the end! it is not a song about religion but if you listen to the lyrics then it really does take on a higher meaning to Climb ( endure to the end) meaning for me! We are always going to have trials (mountains to climb) and it doesn't matter how long it takes us to get over it but how we endure it! and we may not always endure it well but the Saviour Loves us for who we are! He knows our hearts, and he knows we are doing our best to get over that mountain...

As I prepare my self to have another Child in just a few short weeks! I have had to really think about what the Saviour wants!  I for a long time didn't want this baby and still have a hard time wrapping my head around having a fourth child and being able to cope! but I know the Lord would not have given me this blessing if he didn't know that I could do it! The Lord works in really mysterious ways! he knows our hearts before we do! every time I feel this baby move I know that I will Love him as soon as I see him..  No matter how many times I have said to my self! why am I having another child? I didn't want this, Not right now! I always new we would have four kids but after my last miscarriage and then moving to a big city I wanted to wait for a while, but the Lord had a different plan for me! and I have come to learn to accept it! The LORDS will be done! not mine! I know that the more I turn to my Saviour the more he will help and bless me through my Mountains.
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Disaster of a Bedroom!

Disaster of a bedroom!

I Can't believe how long I let me room just pile up with baskets full of folded clothes and just Junk! I guess when you move you don't always get everything unpacked and then sometimes when you clean everything gets piled into your room to save time on cleaning! Me it is all of the above and just not having enough energy this pregnancy to clean and organize! but I had to clean it as I needed room to put the play pen for the baby in there some where! and I didn't want my side of the bed against the wall any longer! so here are some of my embarrassing pictures of my room!

This shot is of the closet area that never got fully unpacked when we moved and where all my baskets of folded laundry ended up! SAD!

My closet now all nicely organized and boxes are gone play pen is set up and ready for when baby comes! now I don't have to worry where the baby is going to sleep!

I feel so good to get this done it isn't everyday you take on a project like that! and actually get done before the day is out! but I am one of those determined women! when I put my mind to something I do it.. or in never gets done and will just sit and wait! not to mention it will be nice to have a clutter free room for a while! I guess until we start adding baby things!

Maybe now that my room looks nice I can put some things on the walls and make it look that much more like a room!

Now it is definitely time to REST!

Family Fun!

Swimming and Pizza

Even though we have had some heart ache this past week we have been able to suppress it with a little Family fun! My sister invited us over to the hotel for Swimming and Pizza something that we don't always get to do especially with family!! We had such a good time it was nice to see family and see the cousins playing together! my sister took all the pics that I am about to post as I didn't have my camera but she was able to capture some really good shots of my kids!!

Ethan sitting at the hot tub just getting a feel for the water!

Ethan found the little kids slide and thought it was the best thing in the world! He didn't want to get off of it! He had so much fun!

Erika found the little kid slide and couldn't get enough of it!

Erika Hanging in the hot tub! She loves that warm water just like her dad!

Erika wanted to go down the big slide so bad but I didn't have the right kind of shorts on to go down so we found a girl that was there to take her down and this was right before she decided it would be a nice day to drowned! but I jumped in and saved her! just need to teach her remember to hold your breath!

Jaxon has never been a water kid until we moved to Calgary and this pick is so funny My sister captured it just as he was holding his breath before hitting the water! I think this is so much fun cause he never stopped till it was time to go!

Jaxon swimming to the edge of the pool to get out and go down the slide again!

I love hanging out with my family especially doing fun recreational stuff like this! It kind of takes me back to when I was kid! I can still remember going swimming at the Cardston Pool all the time! Glad we got to spend time with family! Family is so precious and we need to stay close to the ones we love!

A Precious Angel Gone to Heaven!

My Auntie Dot, passed today at about 3:00pm very sudden and not expected! she was not in good health but not expecting her to go so suddenly!

I am saddened to the core that she is gone! not only for my sorrow but the sorrow of all those that loved her so much in my family, Especially my Mom...

At times like these I always turn my eyes to the gospel! Death has been a big part of my life lately! after losing a grandmother and an grandfather last year! I fear that this year will not be any different! but the one thing that I hold dear to my heart is knowing that My Father in heaven has a plan for Families! It really is amazing the gospel and having eternal families.. and the knowledge of the plan of happiness! I don't know how any one can get through it with out the gospel! I feel very lucky to have the gospel in my life to know the things that our Heavenly Father has in store for us!

I had the opportunity to share something special with both my Auntie Dot and Uncle Tim just three weeks ago! things fell into place easily for me to attend the temple with them and witness their sealing! a thing they had waited many years for! I know what it is like to wait and still think how important it is for us to seal our families as soon as we can! and to stay worthy of that sealing power! In every sealing I have attended I always think of my own sealing to my wonderful husband and know that it is beyond a doubt the most greatest gift any one could have!

I have always been quite a strong person and usually don't show my feelings until the last possible moment especially when I feel the need to be strong for those that are around me! some may pass that off as I don't care but I do! I hurt secretly inside! and only show my emotions when I am most vulnerable! which is usually behind closed doors! The funeral is going to be especially hard as I know that I will have to see my Mothers heart break and I won't be able to mend it back together! I may have had grandparents pass but never a sibling! and not one that I have been best friends with for so many years! My heart goes out to my Mom as I know she is in so much anguish with this loss.. I only hope that being around her grand kids and with her husband over time she will be able to mend that broken heart!

My Auntie Dot was a special kind of lady.. always a proud Aunt and always let us know how much she loved us as we were growing up! she was like none of my other Aunts she really loved us all! and was always proud to show it!

As I sit here and remember her life all I can think about is how I know she is in a better place! with all the health conditions she had I know that she is no longer in pain or suffering from her health.. I know she is in heaven looking down on us not wanting us to be sad but happy that she is not suffering any longer! this knowledge is all well and good but I know it doesn't take all the hurt and pain away knowing that we will have to wait to see her again! Family reunions will not longer be the same! but I did say to my Mom tonight, that she is always going to be with us in spirit... I know she is watching over us and is enjoying her reunion with her Mother and Father in Heaven! I just hope that through the bad times we all as her family can remember where she is and it is only for a short moment in time before we will see her again!

Rest In Peace Auntie Dot! We Love You!

Goals!

Well it has been almost a week since I decided what I wanted to do this year! and I have to say it has been going well so far!

with my kids I have found it so much easier to put them to bed when we have a specific routine! and that includes the Family Scripture Study and Family Prayer! I think at certain times of our lives we know exactly what we need to do! but only through the whisperings of the spirit saying its time! I have watched my kids over the last week as we have been doing these goals and have wondered why it has been so hard in past to keep a routine! but I think it is just because I am more determined now more than ever to keep the spirit strong in my home!

With having yet another boy I have realised that I have to be on top of my game if I want any hope of my boys to serve a full time mission! I absolutely love that I have two brothers that have served missions that my kids especially my boys have to look up too! I love my brothers for being so diligent in serving the Lord! and being the examples that I need in my life!

The goals that I have chosen for my self and my family are one in a spiritual nature! and I am greatful for family and friends in my life that have been the examples of what I want to become! Raising a family isn't easy I have had some pretty hard days with my pregnancy and just wanting to end it! not knowing how I am going to raise 4 kids if I am going to stay sane enough to even be what they need! but I know that if I put myself and my Families lives in the Lords hands that it may not be easier but it will be more worth it in the end! Having the Lord right by your side is such an amazing blessing! I think that as we grow older we realise the more precious things in life and the things that we need to do to keep going! I love the quote " We may not have it all together, but Together we have it ALL." I love that quote because it helps me realise that we don't have to be perfect! We can strive each day to be better at who we are and who we want to become!

I am so greatful to have a husband that is willing to sit down with me and plan out our life! and be able to agree on the things we need to work on as a family! it is so nice to have the gospel in our lives that we can sit back and reflect on the things we need and don't need in our lives!

I am so glad that this year I really reflected on the goals I needed instead of just picking a goal just to have a goal!

New Year! New Goals!

NEW YEAR! NEW GOALS!

Wow it sure has been an amazing year. Full of ups and downs.. Happy and sad moments that only build us stronger and more into the person we hopefully want to become! Over the last week I have been wondering what my new goals for the year are going to be! I don't want to say resolutions cause they just come and go at the drop of a hat! nobody sticks the them they are just kind of there! I have really reflected what I want my life to become and what it has been! and I have to say I haven't really been that proud of my self! there is so many things that I need to work on for just me! I know the saying you are always your worst critic and that is so true! I think we are mostly hard on our selves than any one else! but I think that we are the ones that truly know what is going on in our minds, and in our hearts! and that is part of why we are our worst critics! over the last year we have had so many trails I hardly new how we were going to get through the year! but with a little faith we made it yet another year!

Some of my trials have been mostly not knowing and feeling like I have been the best mother to my children! the best example! kind, constructive, those kinds of things! I have always tried my best but there are some points when your children push you to the point where it brings out the worst in you! so one of my goals this year is to be a better example to my kids! I know I will never be perfect but I need to be better!

In the last year I have wondered if I was a good wife! have I done enough, sacrificed enough of my love to keep my husband happy and that fire burning in our relationship!! I know this is more of a battle that I have inside my head but none the less it is still a trial that I think most of us women face! when you have as many or more kids than I do! and you spend your days cleaning house and trying to make it look presentable to your husband when he comes home to only have the kids mess it up ever second and for you husband walk in after work and it looks the same if not worse then he left you always wonder what is going through their mind at that moment! I know there is a say that says if you house is messy or not fully tidy it means you live in your house and have fun with your kids but I always wonder if that is good enough of an excuse to not have a perfect home! so another one of my goals this year is to be a better wife I know there is things I can work on in this department! and it starts with selfless acts of kindness towards my self and my husband!

Over the years my husband and I have really struggle with consistently holding family home evening, family scripture study and prayer.. so This year is going to be different! we have started a new life here in Calgary and it starts with The Saviour! we wouldn't be here in this situation if we hadn't prayed for a change! So this years goal is to be a more spiritual family! with living in Calgary we need to instill a testimony into our children early! so that when faced with temptations at school they will know how the Saviour would want them to act and how to deal with those situations! I may be making my kids grow up a little fast but with out a testimony it is hard to deal with pure pressure! and this again starts with me! being and setting an example to my children on how the Saviour would want us to be and act! I have loved living in Calgary it has been a breath of fresh air! and a new outlook on life! So here is to New beginnings and NEW Goals!

I have spent many years trying to lose weight and eat healthier since I have started having kids and I have always started and then stopped! had a bad day and all I have wanted to do is eat junk food! Well I have come to realise as I have lived in a house with stairs that letting your self go just because it is easier and not a hole lot of work is not the way to live! I used to be very fit and be able to move way easier! I guess with being pregnant I have used that as an excuse to not stay fit! but my last doctors appointment really opened my eyes! If I don't get a handle on my eating and weight/ fitness then I will have a lot more to try and get off at the end of the pregnancy! It can be very depressing knowing how much you weigh and not being able to lose weight but! I have to look at it this way! if I don't change now it will be a lot harder later if I just let my excuses get in the way! With the way society is today with Cancer and diabetes I have to gain control of my life and it starts with me! my mind and what I want! if I want to be winded every time I go up the stairs then I guess I will continue on the path I am on! if I want to be a reasonable weight and have tons of energy then I need to make the necessary changes to my life to make that happen, and no matter how long it takes to reach my goals it has to be done if I want a better way of life! this is the same as the gospel do I choose a better way of life through the Lord! or do I choose the easy way out and give in to Satan's grasp! I love the quote "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it!" This can be used in every aspect of our lives not just the gospel!

I absolutely love when we start a new year! it gives us time to reflect on the things that have happened in the last year.. Which then gives us the opportunity to have a fresh start and to change the things we want to change for the new year! and also to dictate how we want to live the next year through!