A Precious Angel Gone to Heaven!

My Auntie Dot, passed today at about 3:00pm very sudden and not expected! she was not in good health but not expecting her to go so suddenly!

I am saddened to the core that she is gone! not only for my sorrow but the sorrow of all those that loved her so much in my family, Especially my Mom...

At times like these I always turn my eyes to the gospel! Death has been a big part of my life lately! after losing a grandmother and an grandfather last year! I fear that this year will not be any different! but the one thing that I hold dear to my heart is knowing that My Father in heaven has a plan for Families! It really is amazing the gospel and having eternal families.. and the knowledge of the plan of happiness! I don't know how any one can get through it with out the gospel! I feel very lucky to have the gospel in my life to know the things that our Heavenly Father has in store for us!

I had the opportunity to share something special with both my Auntie Dot and Uncle Tim just three weeks ago! things fell into place easily for me to attend the temple with them and witness their sealing! a thing they had waited many years for! I know what it is like to wait and still think how important it is for us to seal our families as soon as we can! and to stay worthy of that sealing power! In every sealing I have attended I always think of my own sealing to my wonderful husband and know that it is beyond a doubt the most greatest gift any one could have!

I have always been quite a strong person and usually don't show my feelings until the last possible moment especially when I feel the need to be strong for those that are around me! some may pass that off as I don't care but I do! I hurt secretly inside! and only show my emotions when I am most vulnerable! which is usually behind closed doors! The funeral is going to be especially hard as I know that I will have to see my Mothers heart break and I won't be able to mend it back together! I may have had grandparents pass but never a sibling! and not one that I have been best friends with for so many years! My heart goes out to my Mom as I know she is in so much anguish with this loss.. I only hope that being around her grand kids and with her husband over time she will be able to mend that broken heart!

My Auntie Dot was a special kind of lady.. always a proud Aunt and always let us know how much she loved us as we were growing up! she was like none of my other Aunts she really loved us all! and was always proud to show it!

As I sit here and remember her life all I can think about is how I know she is in a better place! with all the health conditions she had I know that she is no longer in pain or suffering from her health.. I know she is in heaven looking down on us not wanting us to be sad but happy that she is not suffering any longer! this knowledge is all well and good but I know it doesn't take all the hurt and pain away knowing that we will have to wait to see her again! Family reunions will not longer be the same! but I did say to my Mom tonight, that she is always going to be with us in spirit... I know she is watching over us and is enjoying her reunion with her Mother and Father in Heaven! I just hope that through the bad times we all as her family can remember where she is and it is only for a short moment in time before we will see her again!

Rest In Peace Auntie Dot! We Love You!

Goals!

Well it has been almost a week since I decided what I wanted to do this year! and I have to say it has been going well so far!

with my kids I have found it so much easier to put them to bed when we have a specific routine! and that includes the Family Scripture Study and Family Prayer! I think at certain times of our lives we know exactly what we need to do! but only through the whisperings of the spirit saying its time! I have watched my kids over the last week as we have been doing these goals and have wondered why it has been so hard in past to keep a routine! but I think it is just because I am more determined now more than ever to keep the spirit strong in my home!

With having yet another boy I have realised that I have to be on top of my game if I want any hope of my boys to serve a full time mission! I absolutely love that I have two brothers that have served missions that my kids especially my boys have to look up too! I love my brothers for being so diligent in serving the Lord! and being the examples that I need in my life!

The goals that I have chosen for my self and my family are one in a spiritual nature! and I am greatful for family and friends in my life that have been the examples of what I want to become! Raising a family isn't easy I have had some pretty hard days with my pregnancy and just wanting to end it! not knowing how I am going to raise 4 kids if I am going to stay sane enough to even be what they need! but I know that if I put myself and my Families lives in the Lords hands that it may not be easier but it will be more worth it in the end! Having the Lord right by your side is such an amazing blessing! I think that as we grow older we realise the more precious things in life and the things that we need to do to keep going! I love the quote " We may not have it all together, but Together we have it ALL." I love that quote because it helps me realise that we don't have to be perfect! We can strive each day to be better at who we are and who we want to become!

I am so greatful to have a husband that is willing to sit down with me and plan out our life! and be able to agree on the things we need to work on as a family! it is so nice to have the gospel in our lives that we can sit back and reflect on the things we need and don't need in our lives!

I am so glad that this year I really reflected on the goals I needed instead of just picking a goal just to have a goal!

New Year! New Goals!

NEW YEAR! NEW GOALS!

Wow it sure has been an amazing year. Full of ups and downs.. Happy and sad moments that only build us stronger and more into the person we hopefully want to become! Over the last week I have been wondering what my new goals for the year are going to be! I don't want to say resolutions cause they just come and go at the drop of a hat! nobody sticks the them they are just kind of there! I have really reflected what I want my life to become and what it has been! and I have to say I haven't really been that proud of my self! there is so many things that I need to work on for just me! I know the saying you are always your worst critic and that is so true! I think we are mostly hard on our selves than any one else! but I think that we are the ones that truly know what is going on in our minds, and in our hearts! and that is part of why we are our worst critics! over the last year we have had so many trails I hardly new how we were going to get through the year! but with a little faith we made it yet another year!

Some of my trials have been mostly not knowing and feeling like I have been the best mother to my children! the best example! kind, constructive, those kinds of things! I have always tried my best but there are some points when your children push you to the point where it brings out the worst in you! so one of my goals this year is to be a better example to my kids! I know I will never be perfect but I need to be better!

In the last year I have wondered if I was a good wife! have I done enough, sacrificed enough of my love to keep my husband happy and that fire burning in our relationship!! I know this is more of a battle that I have inside my head but none the less it is still a trial that I think most of us women face! when you have as many or more kids than I do! and you spend your days cleaning house and trying to make it look presentable to your husband when he comes home to only have the kids mess it up ever second and for you husband walk in after work and it looks the same if not worse then he left you always wonder what is going through their mind at that moment! I know there is a say that says if you house is messy or not fully tidy it means you live in your house and have fun with your kids but I always wonder if that is good enough of an excuse to not have a perfect home! so another one of my goals this year is to be a better wife I know there is things I can work on in this department! and it starts with selfless acts of kindness towards my self and my husband!

Over the years my husband and I have really struggle with consistently holding family home evening, family scripture study and prayer.. so This year is going to be different! we have started a new life here in Calgary and it starts with The Saviour! we wouldn't be here in this situation if we hadn't prayed for a change! So this years goal is to be a more spiritual family! with living in Calgary we need to instill a testimony into our children early! so that when faced with temptations at school they will know how the Saviour would want them to act and how to deal with those situations! I may be making my kids grow up a little fast but with out a testimony it is hard to deal with pure pressure! and this again starts with me! being and setting an example to my children on how the Saviour would want us to be and act! I have loved living in Calgary it has been a breath of fresh air! and a new outlook on life! So here is to New beginnings and NEW Goals!

I have spent many years trying to lose weight and eat healthier since I have started having kids and I have always started and then stopped! had a bad day and all I have wanted to do is eat junk food! Well I have come to realise as I have lived in a house with stairs that letting your self go just because it is easier and not a hole lot of work is not the way to live! I used to be very fit and be able to move way easier! I guess with being pregnant I have used that as an excuse to not stay fit! but my last doctors appointment really opened my eyes! If I don't get a handle on my eating and weight/ fitness then I will have a lot more to try and get off at the end of the pregnancy! It can be very depressing knowing how much you weigh and not being able to lose weight but! I have to look at it this way! if I don't change now it will be a lot harder later if I just let my excuses get in the way! With the way society is today with Cancer and diabetes I have to gain control of my life and it starts with me! my mind and what I want! if I want to be winded every time I go up the stairs then I guess I will continue on the path I am on! if I want to be a reasonable weight and have tons of energy then I need to make the necessary changes to my life to make that happen, and no matter how long it takes to reach my goals it has to be done if I want a better way of life! this is the same as the gospel do I choose a better way of life through the Lord! or do I choose the easy way out and give in to Satan's grasp! I love the quote "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it!" This can be used in every aspect of our lives not just the gospel!

I absolutely love when we start a new year! it gives us time to reflect on the things that have happened in the last year.. Which then gives us the opportunity to have a fresh start and to change the things we want to change for the new year! and also to dictate how we want to live the next year through!

Time for a to make some good eating choices!

Well I have decided that I am not going to be a bump on a log any more and start taking care of my body! I have been so Depressed lately since I have not been able to lose weight and I feel really Fat! I know that I am not that fat but I still need to lose weight and get into some shape. I have printed off the Canada Food Guide and will be trying to follow it to a T, being unhealthy and having no energy is staring to get to me! I need to do something and write now it has to start with my eating habbits! I will be ecorperating Isagenix into this as I know it will give me more energy and keep me motivated to keep going! I know that this is the right step now to act on it!

My Day!

So today was a long day for me! spiritual and stressfull! don't know how those both go together but that is ok! so to start off with the spirituall! Well today is General Conference! and I have to say that I loved the first session! I felt very empowered by all the talks but the one that stood out the most would have to be the talk by President Cook! he talked all about Women and how we are the strong ones! I don't often feel like the strong one in the family but I guess that is not how the Lord sees us! I was very impressed with the talk! and can't wait till the ensign comes so I can read it again! so the not so spiritual but stress ful! I find going to Lethbridge is always a struggle for me as a Mom when we go as a family! my kids always know the ways to stress me out and make me upset! but I guess that is what kids are there for! to test us and see if we are still on our toes when ever they are in public! today I have realized that family is important! even through the stressful moments! and that spending time as a family is good the kids need that! and so do us as parents but I think I need to find ways of doing things that don't make me upset fast! eventhough I know it is a trate that red heads posses! we are very strong willed and very moody! I don't know how else to describe it! well today was stressfull but loved the spiritual aspect of today and the things that I was tought!

Spring Cleaning!

So today I started my week long journey of spring cleaning! today was a long day washing loads and loads of laundry from my kids clothes that are too small but I can say that I am getting rid of at least 2 bags of girls clothes 0-24 months and at least 1 bag of boys 0-18 months so that feels good to get some stuff cleaned up and to be able to give it to some one that needs it!

There is yet much to do! before I will feel like I am done with the sorting! but I think that in the long run it will be good! I will feel like I don't have a lot of extra baggage to deal with! I Know that most of the stuff that is in my shop we don't need since it is just sitting there and most of it has sat there for 3 years so obviously I don't need it! I certainly have not missed it! so it will be gone by the end of the week! and my shop will be organized if it is the last thing I do this week!

New Beginnings!

Well it has certainly been a week for new beginnings the ward boundaries in Raymond have now been changed and we are going to be going to 5th ward now instead of 1st ward! I am excited to meet new people but am going to miss mostly my friends in the other ward that I don't see on a day to day basis! I absolutely will miss my Relief Society Presidency! I absolutely loved them, and will miss them deeply! along with my visiting teachers! but as I sit here and listen to the music of Sara Lyn Baril from our Relief Society's March 17th party I know that everything will be ok! that I will be able to mingle and meet new friends in my new ward and feel welcome there! and when things get tough remember this is where the Lord wants me to be!

This week I am also planning on going through a lot of our stuff and starting fresh with no junk! I don't know if that makes sense but when you start fresh it almost feels like you have become a new person and makes you want to be the one person you look up to all your life! I would love to be a better person and work on the things that I need to be doing! the Savior has given us his all and in return asks us to do the same! I need to start or to continue to give my all to his work and his glory! and work towards those spiritual goals that I want to accomplish! the things I won't accomplish sitting around watching tv or cleaning my house! but reading, pondering and praying for the things that the Lord would like me to do in this life!

I am thinking that I would like to start doing the things I love again! I love doing crafts like making baby blankets and then donating them! making hats for winter! crocheting, and not to mention singing and reading! some talents that I have put to the wayside since I have become a mother! I think it may be time to rejoin the ward choir! I have only done that since I was 12 I don't know why I ever stopped! oh yeah cause I had babies and it wasn't as easy to make it to practice! I love to sing and don't think I do it enough but would love to do it more with my husband as we used to! I have always loved the way my husband and I could sing a song and make it harmonize into something beautiful! I don't know if I have a very good voice but I love to sing! and my husband has an amazing voice so he carries me some of the time! I wish I had the money to retake piano lessons and have a piano so that I don't lose that talent I was starting to gain in my young teen years! I love everything that there is about music and always told my self I would marry someone with the ability to play the piano and have a good singing voice and well I did it! he doesn't play very often but I think it is because we don't have a piano! One day we will get that baby grand that we have always wanted! we will definitely work towards that! another goal that we will get to! maybe not right away but we will get there!

absolutely loves that my daughter totally fell asleep listening to church music tonight! maybe that will be a new beginning! listening to church music to calm my children before bed! love it!

so time to go to bed! I think I am just starting to ramble now! ok stopping.. going to bed! night all!