My Favourite part of Higher Laws..

There is so many things to be grateful for in life. Over the last few days  I have been at this Event called Master your power within. There have been so many lessons that I have learned, but thanks to Brandon Broadwater I have come to realize that you can go no where that matters with out your Partner. 

I have realized, that it doesn matter how much success I have in life, if I can't share it with My husband it truly doesn't matter. 

I have wanted to put the Higher Laws that I have so desperately needing to here into practice, but I couldn't reach my full potential if my Husband wasn't on the same page. I have seen miracles happen in the last few days. 

I have learned new things I didn't realize before and it has brought me so much joy to be able to share that joy with my husband because we are in the same state of mind. 

I am truly grateful to Brandon Broadwater for his willingness to teach the Higher Laws of life. If each of us cleave unto the principals taught we can make huge impact in the lives of those we love, and cherish. We will go everywhere that Matters with them.  And we will create the influence we need to encourage those around us to share their light with others. 

Feeling Blessed!

     For some reason today I feel really blessed.. I have been dealing with a leg injury from playing softball and I have been feeling kind of down with that because I was training for a 5k run that is supposed to take place on Saturday.. I am still going to run but having to rest up  has been very hard on me.. but with the things that have gone on over the last couple of weeks.. my mind keeps coming back to me "It Could Be Worse"  I could have broke my leg instead of pulling a muscle or what ever the case maybe.. I can still walk and do everything for my self I just have to deal with a little bit of pain.. which in the long run is but a small moment in my life that is I guess you could call an irritation...  Everyone who knows me knows that I am a busy body and having to stay off my feet hasn't been easy! but it has made me realise that it could be worse.. Heavenly Father knows what we are going through at each moment in our lives and knows the pain we go through.. But most importantly he knows how to help us if we just ask...

       Being a Relief Society President hasn't been a piece of cake for me.. I feel like I have grown so much in the Gospel in just a few months but I feel like I still have so much to learn... The thing I have noticed more is the spirit in my life.. I know when I am speaking for the Lord and when his spirit engulfs me that I am saying what he needs me to say at that point to whom ever I am taking to... I can't say that I have ever really felt that until now unless I was baring my Testimony..  I am finding also I can see the Lords tender mercies in my life, and my out look on people as a whole is way different as well... I can't say I enjoy the part of knowing every ones problems because of the person I am all I want to do is fix it all, but then have to realise that those people have to fix their own lives and live with what ever the consequences may be...


      After being called as a Relief Society President I have reflected back on my life many times wondering if Heavenly Father made the right choice in me..  A couple of years ago I never would have even dreamed of being called to this position, I was no where near in the right mind set or even in the right spiritual mind set to have a position like this.. However after moving to Calgary and changing my outlook on life My total outlook changed.. I went from asking my self every week if I was going to go to church that day to it not being an option that we would attend every week unless we were ill..  And not baring my testimony in Sacrament meeting in 5 years to being comfortable enough to bare it almost every other month..  I know that my Husband was inspired to move us to Calgary and to move us into the house we did..  We prayed that we would be put into a good ward.. and I have to say when you feel as welcomed into a ward as we did on our first week here, that's when it starts. New people move into your life, new friends, new co-workers  and your life changes into something you never would have dreamed of.  The Lord knows who to put in your life and when in order for him to mould you into the person he wants and knows you to become..  You just have to be willing to Listen..


     I have gone through a lot of experiences in my life most of them came with a lot of sorrow.. some were happy and some were amazing.. But I know now that I had to go through those experiences to become the person I am today.. If it wasn't for those experiences I wouldn't be Me.. There are many Trials that we are given, some we just survive, some we go through pretty good and some are on going and never stop.. but those experiences build us or break us depending on the way we choose to live through it! Some of our trials we feel we didn't get through with very much stamina however each trial does build us in some way.. We may not think so but when you reflect back you always learn something from that trial that will help you in another one..



      I am forever grateful to the trials that I have had and will yet go through.. I am grateful for the opportunity to serve the Women in my Church and to help them in any way I can, Even if I have to share experiences in my life that were sad or sorrowful, if it will help them through what ever trial they are going through I will do it in a heart beat.. Trials to me are like an Education you can't learn  from them in  a text book it is all hands on... but you always learn something that you didn't know before! and they are meant to be shared to help someone else along the way!  We are not alone in our trials our Heavenly Father is there every step of the way! We may not always feel that way but he is there in the sidelines Cheering us on, and Moulding us into the people he wants us to become!

Our Trip to Vegas

 Our Trip to Vegas!

 My Husband and I need to talk a much needed vacation as we hadn't been on one for over 3 years and with having 4 kids you tire out very quickly so we decided to treat our selves after saving up to go to Vegas.. I know the City of Sin but there is lots to do there that is fun and doesn't involve any thing bad.. Our Trip started off by driving down to Cardston to drop of our kids at Darin's parents well Ethan and Rocky stayed there and it was such a beautiful night we decided to take a walk around Temple Square.. We Reflected on how long it had been since we had been on a walk with out kids and to our surprise it had been since our 1st year of marriage pretty much.. there was light rain that night but with the heat it actually felt nice.. there is nothing better than walking in the rain with someone you love unconditionally.. admiring the Lords House!

 Day 1.. We took a long trip down to Great Falls to Catch or plane.. and drove in a major rain storm on the way down. it was bad but got there in plenty of time before our plane!

 we finally get on the plane after being an hour late for Mechanical issues.. a Fuel Gage was not working so they had to fix it.. Scary but we made it to Vegas way later than we thought..

 Our first night in Vegas we decided to walk the strip at night because it was way cooler that way!

 Darin took a pick with Bumble Bee.. just so he could show Jaxon!

 just one of the Two buffets that we went to..It was good food!  (circus Circus buffet)

Day 2 we went to the Tresure Island show where they have a battle between two boats a boat of girl pirates and a boat of boy Pirates it was actually pretty cool it was with all sorts of music and fireworks it was a great time..

Day 3.. We started the day off by going to the CSI exhibit and it was awesome I think I enjoyed it way more that Darin did but I like that kind of stuff. we got to go through and actually solve a crime and we were emailed a certificate.. unfortunately it won't let me upload a the certificate but it is pretty cool! I would go back and do it again it was that fun..
 we decided that this year we would buy our kids stuff they could use instead of a t-shirt that would just end up getting to small for them so we visited the M&M store yeah like four floors of stuff was crazy I think we spent maybe like 2 hours in there! we even got to see a free 10 Min 3D Movie.. was awesome..

 Day 3.. we went to see Rock of Ages and it was so awesome it was great we were sitting in the nose bleed section at this point..

 but an awesome lady moved us up to VIP seating and we were put in the 3rd row from the front! 

Awesome..

 we got to sit in the Zebra print seats and we were all Rock Stars for the night!

 This was the cast.. they did a great job..

 After Rock of Ages we had to go see the fountain show at the Bellagio.. it was amazing as always..

 They did the fountain show to the PinkPanther music was epic!

 Day 4.. We saved the Best for last we went to the Wax Museum it was awesome.. can I just say it was creepy.. the wax figures looked exactly like the real Stars like all the way down to the color of their eyes it was very creepy to walk in a room thinking they were just going to start walking and then not move..

Day 5 We started our day off really early had to wake up at 4:15am  Vegas time to catch our flight at 8:00am or flight was on time which was nice.. we drove back to Cardston  and stayed the night but we got to see Les Miserables and I have to say they did such a good job they deserve to have a show in Vegas.. brought me to tears in many parts of the show.. Vocals were spectacular..

 Most importantly I got to spend this vacation with my wonderful Husband and I am so glad that we went.. We don't have a huge a mount of money but when you don't have a schedule and you save up so you can just do what you want it seems to make your vacation just that much better..

Van Delivery! What?

My Birthing Story

Well it all started with taking some gross caster oil drink with orange juice and this lemon essential oil. First dose was at 12:00 noon second dose was at 3:00pm.. didn't start having contractions until about 5:45pm and were about 5 mins apart not too hard I could still talk through them and so we played the waiting game! we had our kids picked up by a really nice lady in our ward who graciously took our kids over night when she had 4 of her own! and she picked them up around 7:30ish... my contractions started to get stronger around 8:00pm so started to time them more! but they were still only about 5 mins apart! called our midwife at about 8:30 and asked her if she could come and check to see how I was doing! and it took her a good hour to get here! by that time I was in the tub and trying to breath through my contractions.. My mid wife arrived at the house about 9:30 -9:45 at which point she checked me and I was a whopping 5cm at that point she started to call the hospitals to see if there was any rooms available! and one with a tub cause I wanted to finish labouring in a tub.. we called Rocky View first and there was no rooms available! then we called Peter Louheed had no rooms at all available! so we decided to make the trek to Foothills! where they had a room for us!

So we get in the Van and Started driving! at this point my contractions were about 2 mins apart I was in the back seat as it was the only place I could get on my hands and knees if I need to slow down labour! well I was doing good and breathing through my contractions! and then about 4 blocks from the hospital I started to get this really bad contraction I screamed out! and flipped on to my knees and clung to Ethan's car seat for support! then my body thought thanks for doing that I am going to now push a baby out! so my Body started pushing and the only thing going through my mind was don't let my water break! so I screamed at Darin and said "I am having a baby" and he didn't believe me.. He said " we are all most there, your water hasn't broken yet you will be fine just breath." that is when I screamed out and said no the heads out and the water just broke! he started to honk the horn at our mid wife that we were following to the hospital! he then started to pull over to the side of the road ( Banff Trail) and the baby basically fell out of my body!( in my pants) at that point I picked the baby up Darin got out of the van I asked for one of the blankets that we had brought for the baby and I started cleaning him off as Darin called the Midwife to tell her we had just had the baby in the back of the Van!... She came back to the van and made sure he was breathing which he was so she said normally we would call the ambulance but we are only like 2 blocks from the hospital so do you want to just drive to the hospital! and of course I wanted to just drive to the hospital! So we got to the hospital and I was just a pretty sight, covered in blood and sitting in a wheel chair but my mid wife did a very good job at getting me into the room so we could cut the cord and so I could deliver the placenta! she then was amazing got me all cleaned off and I fed him! and then we weighed him and was very surprised that he was not a 9lb baby as I would have expected since he was 8 days late! So he weighed in at 7lbs 10oz and 19 3/4 inches long! We are so happy that he was able to come into this world at the Hand of our Lord and Saviour! and that he was born safely despite the fact that it was in the back of the van and totally un assisted. He is a blessing that we will Cherish for the rest of our lives and are very happy and grateful he has entered into our lives and our family! I feel very Blessed to have had this experience even with how crazy it is! but I know that I had My Heavenly Father watching out for me every step of the way!

Mountains (trials)!

 Today I stayed home from church as I am in the last part of my pregnancy and can't get around much, and haven't been feeling to awesome either! been very exhausted and drained! So for part of my time home I relaxed and slept to try and get some of my energy back! the other part of it I had a shower to continue to relax and then I decided to go down to my computer and watch some movies on the LDS website one really caught my eye! called "Men's hearts shall fail them" and in there Elder Russell M Nelson quoted "Perfection comes not in this life but in the next life, don't demand things that are unreasonable but demand of your self improvement." as I look at my life and the things that I have personally been going through. I have sat back and always wondered how it is that Satan is so cunning to sneak in and take away that you have been working so hard towards! you make goals as an individual and as a family and think that you are doing so well to keep it going! and it just takes one time of saying I am too tired to do that tonight! and then you are back to not doing those things you know are the way and the light of the Gospel!  As I heard this quote from Elder Neslon it reiterated to me that I don't have to be perfect in this life as long as I demand of my self to improve my situation as I realise that I have faltered! I know that is way easier said than done but as long as you let the Lord guide you then you will get what you are needing at that point in your life!

     As a family we have always even when I was a kid watched Walt Disney as our movie time and today just happened to be Hanna Montana and I absolutely love this song she sings at the end! it is not a song about religion but if you listen to the lyrics then it really does take on a higher meaning to Climb ( endure to the end) meaning for me! We are always going to have trials (mountains to climb) and it doesn't matter how long it takes us to get over it but how we endure it! and we may not always endure it well but the Saviour Loves us for who we are! He knows our hearts, and he knows we are doing our best to get over that mountain...

As I prepare my self to have another Child in just a few short weeks! I have had to really think about what the Saviour wants!  I for a long time didn't want this baby and still have a hard time wrapping my head around having a fourth child and being able to cope! but I know the Lord would not have given me this blessing if he didn't know that I could do it! The Lord works in really mysterious ways! he knows our hearts before we do! every time I feel this baby move I know that I will Love him as soon as I see him..  No matter how many times I have said to my self! why am I having another child? I didn't want this, Not right now! I always new we would have four kids but after my last miscarriage and then moving to a big city I wanted to wait for a while, but the Lord had a different plan for me! and I have come to learn to accept it! The LORDS will be done! not mine! I know that the more I turn to my Saviour the more he will help and bless me through my Mountains.
.

Disaster of a Bedroom!

Disaster of a bedroom!

I Can't believe how long I let me room just pile up with baskets full of folded clothes and just Junk! I guess when you move you don't always get everything unpacked and then sometimes when you clean everything gets piled into your room to save time on cleaning! Me it is all of the above and just not having enough energy this pregnancy to clean and organize! but I had to clean it as I needed room to put the play pen for the baby in there some where! and I didn't want my side of the bed against the wall any longer! so here are some of my embarrassing pictures of my room!

This shot is of the closet area that never got fully unpacked when we moved and where all my baskets of folded laundry ended up! SAD!

My closet now all nicely organized and boxes are gone play pen is set up and ready for when baby comes! now I don't have to worry where the baby is going to sleep!

I feel so good to get this done it isn't everyday you take on a project like that! and actually get done before the day is out! but I am one of those determined women! when I put my mind to something I do it.. or in never gets done and will just sit and wait! not to mention it will be nice to have a clutter free room for a while! I guess until we start adding baby things!

Maybe now that my room looks nice I can put some things on the walls and make it look that much more like a room!

Now it is definitely time to REST!

Family Fun!

Swimming and Pizza

Even though we have had some heart ache this past week we have been able to suppress it with a little Family fun! My sister invited us over to the hotel for Swimming and Pizza something that we don't always get to do especially with family!! We had such a good time it was nice to see family and see the cousins playing together! my sister took all the pics that I am about to post as I didn't have my camera but she was able to capture some really good shots of my kids!!

Ethan sitting at the hot tub just getting a feel for the water!

Ethan found the little kids slide and thought it was the best thing in the world! He didn't want to get off of it! He had so much fun!

Erika found the little kid slide and couldn't get enough of it!

Erika Hanging in the hot tub! She loves that warm water just like her dad!

Erika wanted to go down the big slide so bad but I didn't have the right kind of shorts on to go down so we found a girl that was there to take her down and this was right before she decided it would be a nice day to drowned! but I jumped in and saved her! just need to teach her remember to hold your breath!

Jaxon has never been a water kid until we moved to Calgary and this pick is so funny My sister captured it just as he was holding his breath before hitting the water! I think this is so much fun cause he never stopped till it was time to go!

Jaxon swimming to the edge of the pool to get out and go down the slide again!

I love hanging out with my family especially doing fun recreational stuff like this! It kind of takes me back to when I was kid! I can still remember going swimming at the Cardston Pool all the time! Glad we got to spend time with family! Family is so precious and we need to stay close to the ones we love!

A Precious Angel Gone to Heaven!

My Auntie Dot, passed today at about 3:00pm very sudden and not expected! she was not in good health but not expecting her to go so suddenly!

I am saddened to the core that she is gone! not only for my sorrow but the sorrow of all those that loved her so much in my family, Especially my Mom...

At times like these I always turn my eyes to the gospel! Death has been a big part of my life lately! after losing a grandmother and an grandfather last year! I fear that this year will not be any different! but the one thing that I hold dear to my heart is knowing that My Father in heaven has a plan for Families! It really is amazing the gospel and having eternal families.. and the knowledge of the plan of happiness! I don't know how any one can get through it with out the gospel! I feel very lucky to have the gospel in my life to know the things that our Heavenly Father has in store for us!

I had the opportunity to share something special with both my Auntie Dot and Uncle Tim just three weeks ago! things fell into place easily for me to attend the temple with them and witness their sealing! a thing they had waited many years for! I know what it is like to wait and still think how important it is for us to seal our families as soon as we can! and to stay worthy of that sealing power! In every sealing I have attended I always think of my own sealing to my wonderful husband and know that it is beyond a doubt the most greatest gift any one could have!

I have always been quite a strong person and usually don't show my feelings until the last possible moment especially when I feel the need to be strong for those that are around me! some may pass that off as I don't care but I do! I hurt secretly inside! and only show my emotions when I am most vulnerable! which is usually behind closed doors! The funeral is going to be especially hard as I know that I will have to see my Mothers heart break and I won't be able to mend it back together! I may have had grandparents pass but never a sibling! and not one that I have been best friends with for so many years! My heart goes out to my Mom as I know she is in so much anguish with this loss.. I only hope that being around her grand kids and with her husband over time she will be able to mend that broken heart!

My Auntie Dot was a special kind of lady.. always a proud Aunt and always let us know how much she loved us as we were growing up! she was like none of my other Aunts she really loved us all! and was always proud to show it!

As I sit here and remember her life all I can think about is how I know she is in a better place! with all the health conditions she had I know that she is no longer in pain or suffering from her health.. I know she is in heaven looking down on us not wanting us to be sad but happy that she is not suffering any longer! this knowledge is all well and good but I know it doesn't take all the hurt and pain away knowing that we will have to wait to see her again! Family reunions will not longer be the same! but I did say to my Mom tonight, that she is always going to be with us in spirit... I know she is watching over us and is enjoying her reunion with her Mother and Father in Heaven! I just hope that through the bad times we all as her family can remember where she is and it is only for a short moment in time before we will see her again!

Rest In Peace Auntie Dot! We Love You!

Goals!

Well it has been almost a week since I decided what I wanted to do this year! and I have to say it has been going well so far!

with my kids I have found it so much easier to put them to bed when we have a specific routine! and that includes the Family Scripture Study and Family Prayer! I think at certain times of our lives we know exactly what we need to do! but only through the whisperings of the spirit saying its time! I have watched my kids over the last week as we have been doing these goals and have wondered why it has been so hard in past to keep a routine! but I think it is just because I am more determined now more than ever to keep the spirit strong in my home!

With having yet another boy I have realised that I have to be on top of my game if I want any hope of my boys to serve a full time mission! I absolutely love that I have two brothers that have served missions that my kids especially my boys have to look up too! I love my brothers for being so diligent in serving the Lord! and being the examples that I need in my life!

The goals that I have chosen for my self and my family are one in a spiritual nature! and I am greatful for family and friends in my life that have been the examples of what I want to become! Raising a family isn't easy I have had some pretty hard days with my pregnancy and just wanting to end it! not knowing how I am going to raise 4 kids if I am going to stay sane enough to even be what they need! but I know that if I put myself and my Families lives in the Lords hands that it may not be easier but it will be more worth it in the end! Having the Lord right by your side is such an amazing blessing! I think that as we grow older we realise the more precious things in life and the things that we need to do to keep going! I love the quote " We may not have it all together, but Together we have it ALL." I love that quote because it helps me realise that we don't have to be perfect! We can strive each day to be better at who we are and who we want to become!

I am so greatful to have a husband that is willing to sit down with me and plan out our life! and be able to agree on the things we need to work on as a family! it is so nice to have the gospel in our lives that we can sit back and reflect on the things we need and don't need in our lives!

I am so glad that this year I really reflected on the goals I needed instead of just picking a goal just to have a goal!

New Year! New Goals!

NEW YEAR! NEW GOALS!

Wow it sure has been an amazing year. Full of ups and downs.. Happy and sad moments that only build us stronger and more into the person we hopefully want to become! Over the last week I have been wondering what my new goals for the year are going to be! I don't want to say resolutions cause they just come and go at the drop of a hat! nobody sticks the them they are just kind of there! I have really reflected what I want my life to become and what it has been! and I have to say I haven't really been that proud of my self! there is so many things that I need to work on for just me! I know the saying you are always your worst critic and that is so true! I think we are mostly hard on our selves than any one else! but I think that we are the ones that truly know what is going on in our minds, and in our hearts! and that is part of why we are our worst critics! over the last year we have had so many trails I hardly new how we were going to get through the year! but with a little faith we made it yet another year!

Some of my trials have been mostly not knowing and feeling like I have been the best mother to my children! the best example! kind, constructive, those kinds of things! I have always tried my best but there are some points when your children push you to the point where it brings out the worst in you! so one of my goals this year is to be a better example to my kids! I know I will never be perfect but I need to be better!

In the last year I have wondered if I was a good wife! have I done enough, sacrificed enough of my love to keep my husband happy and that fire burning in our relationship!! I know this is more of a battle that I have inside my head but none the less it is still a trial that I think most of us women face! when you have as many or more kids than I do! and you spend your days cleaning house and trying to make it look presentable to your husband when he comes home to only have the kids mess it up ever second and for you husband walk in after work and it looks the same if not worse then he left you always wonder what is going through their mind at that moment! I know there is a say that says if you house is messy or not fully tidy it means you live in your house and have fun with your kids but I always wonder if that is good enough of an excuse to not have a perfect home! so another one of my goals this year is to be a better wife I know there is things I can work on in this department! and it starts with selfless acts of kindness towards my self and my husband!

Over the years my husband and I have really struggle with consistently holding family home evening, family scripture study and prayer.. so This year is going to be different! we have started a new life here in Calgary and it starts with The Saviour! we wouldn't be here in this situation if we hadn't prayed for a change! So this years goal is to be a more spiritual family! with living in Calgary we need to instill a testimony into our children early! so that when faced with temptations at school they will know how the Saviour would want them to act and how to deal with those situations! I may be making my kids grow up a little fast but with out a testimony it is hard to deal with pure pressure! and this again starts with me! being and setting an example to my children on how the Saviour would want us to be and act! I have loved living in Calgary it has been a breath of fresh air! and a new outlook on life! So here is to New beginnings and NEW Goals!

I have spent many years trying to lose weight and eat healthier since I have started having kids and I have always started and then stopped! had a bad day and all I have wanted to do is eat junk food! Well I have come to realise as I have lived in a house with stairs that letting your self go just because it is easier and not a hole lot of work is not the way to live! I used to be very fit and be able to move way easier! I guess with being pregnant I have used that as an excuse to not stay fit! but my last doctors appointment really opened my eyes! If I don't get a handle on my eating and weight/ fitness then I will have a lot more to try and get off at the end of the pregnancy! It can be very depressing knowing how much you weigh and not being able to lose weight but! I have to look at it this way! if I don't change now it will be a lot harder later if I just let my excuses get in the way! With the way society is today with Cancer and diabetes I have to gain control of my life and it starts with me! my mind and what I want! if I want to be winded every time I go up the stairs then I guess I will continue on the path I am on! if I want to be a reasonable weight and have tons of energy then I need to make the necessary changes to my life to make that happen, and no matter how long it takes to reach my goals it has to be done if I want a better way of life! this is the same as the gospel do I choose a better way of life through the Lord! or do I choose the easy way out and give in to Satan's grasp! I love the quote "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it!" This can be used in every aspect of our lives not just the gospel!

I absolutely love when we start a new year! it gives us time to reflect on the things that have happened in the last year.. Which then gives us the opportunity to have a fresh start and to change the things we want to change for the new year! and also to dictate how we want to live the next year through!

Time for a to make some good eating choices!

Well I have decided that I am not going to be a bump on a log any more and start taking care of my body! I have been so Depressed lately since I have not been able to lose weight and I feel really Fat! I know that I am not that fat but I still need to lose weight and get into some shape. I have printed off the Canada Food Guide and will be trying to follow it to a T, being unhealthy and having no energy is staring to get to me! I need to do something and write now it has to start with my eating habbits! I will be ecorperating Isagenix into this as I know it will give me more energy and keep me motivated to keep going! I know that this is the right step now to act on it!

My Day!

So today was a long day for me! spiritual and stressfull! don't know how those both go together but that is ok! so to start off with the spirituall! Well today is General Conference! and I have to say that I loved the first session! I felt very empowered by all the talks but the one that stood out the most would have to be the talk by President Cook! he talked all about Women and how we are the strong ones! I don't often feel like the strong one in the family but I guess that is not how the Lord sees us! I was very impressed with the talk! and can't wait till the ensign comes so I can read it again! so the not so spiritual but stress ful! I find going to Lethbridge is always a struggle for me as a Mom when we go as a family! my kids always know the ways to stress me out and make me upset! but I guess that is what kids are there for! to test us and see if we are still on our toes when ever they are in public! today I have realized that family is important! even through the stressful moments! and that spending time as a family is good the kids need that! and so do us as parents but I think I need to find ways of doing things that don't make me upset fast! eventhough I know it is a trate that red heads posses! we are very strong willed and very moody! I don't know how else to describe it! well today was stressfull but loved the spiritual aspect of today and the things that I was tought!

Spring Cleaning!

So today I started my week long journey of spring cleaning! today was a long day washing loads and loads of laundry from my kids clothes that are too small but I can say that I am getting rid of at least 2 bags of girls clothes 0-24 months and at least 1 bag of boys 0-18 months so that feels good to get some stuff cleaned up and to be able to give it to some one that needs it!

There is yet much to do! before I will feel like I am done with the sorting! but I think that in the long run it will be good! I will feel like I don't have a lot of extra baggage to deal with! I Know that most of the stuff that is in my shop we don't need since it is just sitting there and most of it has sat there for 3 years so obviously I don't need it! I certainly have not missed it! so it will be gone by the end of the week! and my shop will be organized if it is the last thing I do this week!

New Beginnings!

Well it has certainly been a week for new beginnings the ward boundaries in Raymond have now been changed and we are going to be going to 5th ward now instead of 1st ward! I am excited to meet new people but am going to miss mostly my friends in the other ward that I don't see on a day to day basis! I absolutely will miss my Relief Society Presidency! I absolutely loved them, and will miss them deeply! along with my visiting teachers! but as I sit here and listen to the music of Sara Lyn Baril from our Relief Society's March 17th party I know that everything will be ok! that I will be able to mingle and meet new friends in my new ward and feel welcome there! and when things get tough remember this is where the Lord wants me to be!

This week I am also planning on going through a lot of our stuff and starting fresh with no junk! I don't know if that makes sense but when you start fresh it almost feels like you have become a new person and makes you want to be the one person you look up to all your life! I would love to be a better person and work on the things that I need to be doing! the Savior has given us his all and in return asks us to do the same! I need to start or to continue to give my all to his work and his glory! and work towards those spiritual goals that I want to accomplish! the things I won't accomplish sitting around watching tv or cleaning my house! but reading, pondering and praying for the things that the Lord would like me to do in this life!

I am thinking that I would like to start doing the things I love again! I love doing crafts like making baby blankets and then donating them! making hats for winter! crocheting, and not to mention singing and reading! some talents that I have put to the wayside since I have become a mother! I think it may be time to rejoin the ward choir! I have only done that since I was 12 I don't know why I ever stopped! oh yeah cause I had babies and it wasn't as easy to make it to practice! I love to sing and don't think I do it enough but would love to do it more with my husband as we used to! I have always loved the way my husband and I could sing a song and make it harmonize into something beautiful! I don't know if I have a very good voice but I love to sing! and my husband has an amazing voice so he carries me some of the time! I wish I had the money to retake piano lessons and have a piano so that I don't lose that talent I was starting to gain in my young teen years! I love everything that there is about music and always told my self I would marry someone with the ability to play the piano and have a good singing voice and well I did it! he doesn't play very often but I think it is because we don't have a piano! One day we will get that baby grand that we have always wanted! we will definitely work towards that! another goal that we will get to! maybe not right away but we will get there!

absolutely loves that my daughter totally fell asleep listening to church music tonight! maybe that will be a new beginning! listening to church music to calm my children before bed! love it!

so time to go to bed! I think I am just starting to ramble now! ok stopping.. going to bed! night all!

At and Impasse!

I seriously am at an impasse at the moment! and don't know what to do! I have sat back and watched my husband work hard to keep this family afloat financially through the hard stages of our marriage and find it hard right now to not step in and yell at everyone who comes in my path! My husband is a very good man and has worked his butt off to keep us from living on the street! He worked hard at Real Estate to have people stab him in the back and use someone else! now he is working in Management and was basically told take on three departments or leave! So he did what he had to do to support our family to find out that it was too much stress for him to handle! He has on a # of occasions asked for an assistant and to his surprise been told he doesn't need one! that he should be able to handle it! even though he has said I am not working at a hundred percent please give me the help I need to do my job and work effectively! So I don't know if these guys are just dumb but does that not sound like a cry for help? or am I just imagining it? Also there has been another supervisor that has gotten another department added to their work load and the bosses are telling Darin that that worker is handling it no problem. but you have to know that this worker has only two departments and three assistants so how is that even comparable? What is so wrong with giving Darin just ONE assistant! is that too much to ask! he is already saving the company over $60,000/ year just by managing the three departments for the amount of pay they are giving him so what is so hard about giving him one assisant? I often think what is there a store manager for other than doing the paper work does he really do anything he has three assistants who have how many managers doing their jobs so why is it that Darin gets dumped on and is told to suck it up! I almost everyday want to walk into that store and ask the Manager and the Assistant Managers who the hell they think they are? and how many other stores have one manager over 20 staff with out an assistant manager! I bet there would be very very few if not any! So why now? I don't know what to do here! I love my Husband and support him in the things he does to support this family but how do you stick up for him with out making it worse? Not to mention he has been applying for other jobs and no body has called him back! Am I the one that needs to relieve him and go out and get a job or do I follow the Teachings of our prophets and stay home and watch him hurt and get stressed and depressed because he wants and needs to provide for our family with a job that is tearing him apart emotionally and physically with the amount of hours he puts in! My husband is a very good man and a very hard worker so to see him being torn at the seams is quite heart wrenching! Seriously I am at an Impasse!

Dentist Day!~

Dentist Day

Today Darin, Jaxon and I all went to the dentist thought we were getting a cleaning but just ended up getting a check up! I have not been to the dentist in a very long time well I guess you could say since I got my wisdom teeth out when I was 17 so to my surprise I had no cavities! which is a very big surprise since I have never been very good at taking care of my teeth the way that I should!

How ever the huge surprise is that my kids brush their teeth way more often than I ever did and Jaxon has 9 cavities! my kids the other surprise to that is my kids rarely ever have candy or pop or juice for that matter so for him to have that many cavities is beyond me! The poor kid will have to be put out and they will do all the work at once so that is nice! how ever the price tag will not be the thing I will be so happy about if the dentist takes less than an hour to do all the work as it will cost us about $900 for the anesthetic! so we will pray he takes more than an hour!

I also talked to the dentist about getting my one Eye tooth moved into place as it is off and it is hard to brush in the crevice and get all the gunk out of it! and he said I had to options as he looked at the bite of my teeth and notice that my bit is off so here are the options!

Option #1:

get some braces and just move the one tooth which I would have braces for about a year and then my teeth would look good and I would be able to brush the one that has been bothering me since it came in when I was a little! so if we know how much braces cost it would be about $2000 just for cosmetics!

Option #2:

My bite is off so the Dentist said that if I don't do anything about it then it will where my teeth down and I will have jaw problems in the future so to fix that it would be get braces for 2-2 1/2 years and fix every thing so I don't have the problem when I am older! so if we do this option we are looking at about $5000 or more and then my all my problems will be solved!

I guess Option #3

Would be to do NOTHING, and then of course have lots of problems later when I am in my 40's and have to get braces any way! So I will be going to a specialist and they will do a free consultation and then I guess we will make a decision from there.

Nice interesting day at the dentist!

Chores and Fun!

Well yesterday my kids decided that it would be fun to take make a hole in the wall with their door knob and start taking all the plaster out of the hole! So being the nice Mom I am I gave them a choice on how they wanted to fix the hole! The First suggestion was to take all the money out of their piggy banks to pay for the damage and to fix it! and they both said no we are saving that money for things that we want! Second suggestion was that they help me do chores all day long! and to my surprise they say ok we will help you mom to pay for the whole! Surprise you might ask why well my kids hate to do chores! so I just started going through things that would make them never do that again but still make it fun enough that they would still want to learn how to work hard later!

1st chore! cleaning the kitchen! well Jaxon unloaded the cutlery and Erika helped me start to clean up the dishes that were all over the kitchen! we cleaned unloaded the dishwasher! cleaned of the table, and then because I am such a nice mom I made Jaxon Vacuum the Kitchen Chairs and Erika wash them down! then we mopped the floor!

2nd chore! cleaning their room! so while I was wiping things down in the kitchen I had Jaxon and Erika Race to see who could pick up 5 toys the fastest, then laundry and so one until their room was clean!

3rd chore! the living room! well the living room was a disaster so we started out with one corner and then moved to the next and they picked up everything toys, news papers ec. until it was clean enough that I could vacuum!

well by this time it was about 11am and they had already been cleaning since about 7:30am so they were getting tired! so we proceeded onto the next chore Ethan's room!

4th Chore! we had another race who could pick up the most toys (Ethan's room is also the toy room) while I put Ethan's Clothes away and we did that until it was finished! by this time the kids were so tired of doing chores so I let them have a break! and they got to watch a movie while I made lunch!

After lunch they still hadn't gotten dressed for the day from doing all the cleaning but we needed to go help Grandma and Grandpa Heninger but before we could do that we had another chore to do!

5th Chore! Pop Bottles. Jaxon has never helped me out with the pop bottles before so his chore was to come and help me take the pop bottles to the depot and we had lots (5 Bags) so I was teaching him the importance of recycling them, and if we did this then you would get money for saving! and of course this was a fun chore!

On to Grandma's! well grandma and grandpa needed our help hooking up a dvd player so Jaxon got to lean how to do that as one of his chores!

I believe that when you are trying to teach your kids a lesson that you need to make it miserable and fun! specially in this case since my kids already hated chores but they got to lean that working hard helps you earn things( in this case paying for the hole they made) and not all work has to be miserable! So today was teaching them to work hard, recycle, and service( helping the grandparents)!

To my surprise the kids were really good no wining other than being tired and they were still happy by the end of the day!

Now on to the fun! Darin's Birthday is on Sunday and I wanted to do something for him that he would enjoy so I planned a double date with friends that we never get to see and surprised him with it! He never new what we were doing, where we were going, and who we were going with! When the Baby sitter got to hour house we I told him to go to our friends in laws and he gave me this weird look! and then our friends got in the van, and to make it fun, I just told him which way to go instead of telling him where were going! But I think he really enjoyed that! We ended up going with our REALLY good friends Merrill and Christi Strong to Darin's Favorite restaurant MOXIES and of course we had a blast! It was some good times! got to catch up! You know it is amazing how long you can go with out seeing someone but when they are your friends it is like you never went different ways and you just pick up where things left off! Really cool! well we had lots of fun and I hope Darin liked his Birthday Present!

Well that was our day in a nut shell!

LOVE!

Well today has been a really good day! two weeks ago tomorrow I had a D&C for a my 11 week miscarriage. And I have to say that I over the last two weeks have been reflecting on what is most important in this life. I know that I will see that baby again! whether it be in this life or the next. So rather than reflecting on the fact that I lost the baby I have been trying to remind my self everyday of the things I do have, and that this is what the Savior has in store for me whether I like it or not.

I have noticed that I have been trying my hardest to have a better relationship with my kids who I love to pieces and the Love of my life! I have found it really hard the last few weeks to not get the butterflies in my stomach every time my husband walks by me! I LOVE him with all my heart. Marriage is never easy but I find that I love my husband more everyday even with the imperfections, disagreements and so forth. None of us are perfect! I don't know and can't even imagine what life would be like with out him! He has done more for me in the last few days than I think he really realizes, but that is what we are here for! To love each other, and carry each other through the good and the bad throughout all ETERNITY!

I know that this miscarriage happened for a reason. I don't know what the reason is yet but I am sure the Savior had his reasons and purposes! I love how the Lord works. I am truly great full for my trials as I go through life. It builds our minds and spirits in ways that we never could have thought possible, and shapes us into the people the Lord wants us to be! Just like him! I have known many women who have gone through this and it amazes me the strength that they have and it has inspired me to be strong and rely on my Savior. Because through HIM we can and will accomplish any thing that is thrown at us!

The start of a new way of life!

Well today I decided to start a blog!

Never thought I would do that but there is a first for everything. Well today is a start to a new way of life for me! Today I am doing my first cleanse day of the Isagenix Health and Wellness program, and I am already feeling good and starting to feel healthy.

Today is a start to a new way of life.

There are so many things that I need to start doing so first priority for me is getting my health back. We are nothing and can do thing with out or health, and most of us would give anything for our health back if we ever lost it. That is how I have felt over the last 6 months either being sick my self or sick kids! I want to be that Mom that can do things with my kids not the one that sits back and watches because of poor health! Today I start my journey to weight loss and healthy eating choices!

Today is the start of keeping a record of the things I do.

since I am on the computer most of the time I feel that this would be a way of keeping track or a journal of the things my Family does and the way I feel during the day! maybe one day I will be able to put it in a book so my kids can read and see the record that I have made of their lives. I have had a hard time since being married to Find time to keep this record written in a journal so here is to blogging!